Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
