This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
