Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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