I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
