why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
