I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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