my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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