there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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