Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
