I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
