So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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