Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
