my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
