Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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