I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
