can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
