Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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