the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Terrible idea I love it
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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