I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
