I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
