please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
