Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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