I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize