i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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