Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
