$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
