question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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