Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
