It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
