Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
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At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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