he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize