I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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