she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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