If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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