I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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