guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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