I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize