Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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