the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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