Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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