All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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