If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize