i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
she was so not down for the gang bang
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
