i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
