apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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