I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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