I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
