; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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