Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
