it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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