I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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