This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
