Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
