There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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