I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
