my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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